i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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