Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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