dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
