Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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