Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
