forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did I show you my penis last night?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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