Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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