she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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