Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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