I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
