Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
