i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize