There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
