apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
