Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
