I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
