Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
