do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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