Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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