shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
