the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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