You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
