don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
