you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
