idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
