I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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