I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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