Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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