Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
