Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
