Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
