So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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