I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
