If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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