Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
