I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
