i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
