see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize