"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how drunk are you?
Several
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
