Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
