Dual....:-)
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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