you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
