Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
