eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't notice because vodka
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
