Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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