dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
operation have a gay friend backfired
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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