low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
