im having a threesome with these popsicles
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
