He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
