that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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