Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize