Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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