you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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