Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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