if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
