went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
