can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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