3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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