if i can run in heels then i can drive
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
