somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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