you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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