I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize