try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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