Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
