I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
