she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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