I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
