So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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